The 2,977 people killed by terrorists on 11th September 2001 marked the tenth anniversary of their deaths today with a sombre ceremony to remember those unfortunate survivors who have had to live through the last gruesome decade.

The world’s top oil firms have united to condemn Colonel Gaddafi’s ‘appalling’ record on human rights in Libya.

The Oil Firms Against Libya (OFAL) collective said today that dropping bombs on innocent civilians in the desert nation was about ending their suffering, and ending their suffering only.

Absolutely nothing, nada, zilch is occurring in any of the world’s 195 countries, according to British media outlets.

Asylum seekers, refugees and all immigrants that look a bit tanned are just cowards too scared of getting their genitalia hacked off, David Cameron told a group of Daily Mail readers yesterday.

Level crossings in Britain will be reconfigured to make trains stop and wait for passing motor vehicles, the government has announced.

Rail passengers will have to stand and watch streams of road traffic whizz by, as train services are forced to patiently give way.

We’re all a bunch of Jew-hating Nazis who deserve to die and if we say anything nasty about Israel again we’re going to be sorry, very sorry.

After two years of hard negotiations, the leaders of the world have finally come to an agreement on climate change: “Let it destroy the planet and everything on it.”