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Islamic State Video Shows Hostage Being Held Without Charge For 13 Years

A chilling new Islamic State video starring homegrown terrorist Jihadi John shows a Western hostage being gruesomely detained without charge.

The terrifying tape shows in graphic detail how the hostage’s mind gradually turns to mush after spending just one hour outside his cell each day for over a decade.


Andy Coulson Launches New Prison Tabloid, The Sin

Convicted snoop Andy Coulson has launched a new tabloid, The Sin, moments after starting his jail term.

The Sin is expected to feature a heady mix of cell scandal, warden gossip, darts coverage, porridge recipes and male genitalia. Page 3 of each edition will carry a blown-up image of the anus of a convicted felon.


Barclays ATP World Tour Finals

I’ve been in quarantine for the last few months; barred from writing, talking or farting about anything to do with music.

That’s because I’m a Barclaycard Mercury Music Prize judge, and it’s not good form to be seen to comment on a competition that one is involved in deciding the outcome of.


Green Peas Charged With Piracy

Russian authorities have charged 30 green peas with piracy.

The peas were campaigning against soil drilling in the Arctic when gun-toting guardeners held them hostage and seized their pod.


Jim Davidson Has Not Been Jailed

Racist television personality Jim Davidson has not been jailed, Operation Yewtree detectives have confirmed.

The former Big Break and Generation Game host and alleged comedian has not been seen or heard from for years, but this is not because he has been banged up for child sex offences.


Brit Awards 2013

The problem with the Brit Awards is not that it is a mawkish celebrity ego-trip, catering exclusively for the aesthetically agreeable stooges of the record company leviathans and confirming that successful acts have indeed been very successful; nor that it is presented by a fat, ugly cockney.

No, it’s neither of those things. I actually felt quite attracted to James Corden this year. Rather, the problem with the ‘Brits’ is its nauseatingly boorish choice of sponsor.


Twenty-twelve: A year to remember

Twenty-twelve. So glorious. So pure. This was the year Britain came back fighting. From what, we’re not so sure.

We celebrated our monarch’s diamond jubilee, and cut those benefits so dear, to stop the scroungers getting something out of life for free.

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