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“We Must Curb Foodbank Bonuses,” Says Iain Duncan Smith

Iain Duncan Smith guarding baked beansWork and pensions secretary Iain Duncan Smith has vowed to tackle the “ludicrous” bonuses being given out by foodbanks across the UK.

Latest figures show 350,000 food parcels have been handed out to people who haven’t earned them.

And these are the same people who are entirely to blame for causing the financial crisis, according to Duncan Smith.

“I say, it’s astonishing,” Duncan Smith started. “These people are simply brazen.

“They sit at home, too lazy to work, only leaving the house to visit the bookies and gamble their benefits away.

“They’re smoking pot, drinking White Lightning, and then, when they’re hungry, they just pop along to their local foodbank and get given – for free, I should emphasise – a hamper of spiced pork meat and spreadable cheese triangles.

“Am I the only one who thinks this is an outrage? Surely you must agree, if someone really desperately needs to eat crap food, they should have to pay for it themselves?

“Foodbank bonuses are a disgraceful stain on the moral fibre of our nation. Poor people are poor because they deserve to be. So why are they being rewarded for it?

“I promise you I will not rest until every last foodbank in the UK has been erased from existence, and their users jailed for jeopardising the financial security of this nation by gambling away the government’s money.”

Last week Duncan Smith stormed out of a parliamentary debate about foodbanks because, he said, “no other MPs are taking the issue seriously”.

The former Tory leader continued: “I think the issue is quite simple. No-one should just get handed something on a plate without having earned it.

“Especially not anything as sacred as a plate of beans on toast.

“However, while everyone is talking about reducing the need for foodbank bonuses, no-one has yet been man enough to admit that they’re simply not needed. At all.

“If foodbanks stopped handing out bonuses tomorrow, the only people who’d notice would be the greedy bastards who receive them. They’re not an essential component of the economy; on the contrary, they’re destroying it.

“So, why is it that the only people who understand this simple truth, are the same people who, like me, are running the country?

“Surely that’s more than just a little coincidental.”

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