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Under-25s ‘Should Be Killed’

David Cameron with a rocket launcherEvery Briton under the age of 25 years must be slain, David Cameron has said.

The Prime Minister believes any citizen born after 1987 does not have the right to life and should be violently exterminated forthwith.

In an exclusive interview that’s been syndicated everywhere, Cameron outlined his latest plan for erasing the hopes and dreams of a generation.

“Well, look, these are tough times, and basically, young people are just too expensive right now. Okay?

“Trust me {cough}, as soon as we’ve solved the deficit and got the economy growing again {COUGH}, we’ll let you repopulate.

“For now all I ask is that you let me kill your children.”

Cameron said he would see to it personally that all those too young to remember “how great it was living under Margaret Thatcher” either commits suicide or is murdered by his own Downing Street Death Force before next Tuesday.

Napalm strikes on school playgrounds, carpet bombs on housing estates with high birth rates and burying mines under music festival campsites are some of the innovative methods of genocide being considered by officials at Number 10.

“If you don’t have the guts to slay your own offspring,” added Cameron, “Just leave them in a pub, and we’ll do the rest.”

However, the Conservative Party’s ambitious plan could cause yet more tension in its coalition with the Liberal Democrat Party, which is fiercely opposed to any slaughter of people aged under 11-years-old.

Lib Dem leader and Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg said: “Tackling the deficit is our top priority and all avenues must be explored.

“But I do worry that if we started killing primary school-aged pupils we would lose support from teachers at the next election.”


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