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Detention for Party Leaders After Commons Brawl

Punch and Judy

Prime Minister’s Questions (PMQs) yesterday ended in an all-out brawl, parliamentary style.

The altercation started between the leaders of the Labour and Conservative parties and soon all of their MPs were involved.

Afterwards, the Speaker of the House told the two leaders, Tony Blair and Michael Howard, to stay behind.

They were ordered to write ‘We must not act like school boys in parliament’ on a blackboard 100 times each in addition to being given a month’s worth of detention.

PMQs began as usual at 12noon on Wednesday but the trouble began as Michael Howard questioned Tony Blair’s relationship with Chancellor Gordon Brown.

Mr Howard asked the Prime Minister: “Is it true that Gordon Brown doesn’t trust you?”

Tony Blair responded: “Is it true that you’re going to have a hair transplant this weekend?”

As the whole of the Labour Party pointed and laughed at Mr Howard in unison, the leader of the opposition retorted with a jibe about the dimensions of the Prime Minister’s hearing organs.

This seemed to enrage Mr Blair as he replied in a dark undertone: “Nobody calls me big ears.”

As a paper aeroplane whizzed passed Blair’s face and smacked Jack Straw in the eye, a melee ensued.

What resulted was an ugly scene of wedgies, wet willies, spit balls and low blows.

Conservative MP Boris Johnson made an attempt at bringing things under control as he yelled: “This is shambolic! We’re supposed to be having a civilised debate here! Hey who threw that?”

However, the Liberal Democrats refused to get involved, instead frowning upon the immaturity of the other two political parties.

Eventually the proceedings had to be brought to an abrupt halt by the Speaker who issued the initiators of the brawl with their punishment.

In an embarrassing conclusion to this event, the Tory and Labour leaders were forced to shake hands.


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