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I’m so distraught I can’t even bear to listen to Radiohead

"Barclays - financing the death trade"I’d love nothing more than to review an album for you right now, tell you about how some band or solo artist is going to make it big, or be doomed to a perpetual cycle of reality TV show auditions.

But I can’t do that. I’m so distraught I can’t even bear to listen to Radiohead.

Yes, that’s how badly affected I’ve been by the situation in the Middle East. Not even Hail To The Thief can cheer me up.

Innocent kids are being injured, maimed, orphaned, killed. Whole families are being slaughtered. Mums, dads, grandfathers, grandmothers, uncles, aunts.

Hospitals are being blown up. Schools, offices, shops. Palestinians have been told to evacuate Gaza but they’ve nowhere to evacuate to. Hundreds of them, dead, just because they had the gall to refuse to leave their homeland.

And for what?

I’ll tell you what. It’s because Barclays needs to make a profit. And as a non-executive Barclays board member, I have to tell you, these profits are more important than Palestinian life or death.

By making millions of quid from our investments in Israeli companies – and from the arms trade – Barclays is able to offer you a current account with award-winning mobile and online banking services.

With Barclays Pingit, you can send and receive money using just your mobile number.

And with our text alerts you needn’t ever stray beyond your overdraft limit before making that desperate phone call to your folks.

What’s more, as of last month, all overdrafts for Barclays customers are interest free. Yes, zero interest. Just a daily charge, that’s all. Seventy-five pence; it’s nothing really.

Certainly, 75p is far cheaper than the daily price Palestinians have to pay for living in Gaza. Quite right too. Barclays customers are far more deserving.

They, like me and all of the wonderful Barclays family, have helped fund Israeli settlements. We’ve helped the wealthy evict the poor. But isn’t that just what capitalism is all about anyway?

Which is why I despair. I despair not for the lives of Palestinians, who are getting in the way of our profits, but for the millions of you out there demanding Barclays withdraw its money from the Holy Land.

One hundred thousand people took to the streets of London at the weekend in protest, and now more than one million have signed this wretched Avaaz petition against Barclays, Veolia, Caterpillar, ABP and Hewlett Packard.

I mean, come on, it’s not our fault Israel is so profitable!

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