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Tragedy Strikes Stabbing Contest

The world’s first official stabbing contest has ended in tragedy after one of the semi-finalists was hit by a limousine outside the event’s venue.

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War On Truth

Nato launched a new military strategy this week, one they claim will redefine the way we all perceive our ephemeral reality.

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GCSE Exams Now Easier Than Writing Headlines

Record GCSE results have prompted fresh concerns over the dumbing-down of school exams, with some papers now reportedly easier than writing pun-laden tabloid headlines and generic news stories recycled from previous years.

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Mindless Thugs Rebuild Community Centre

A bunch of drunken yobs completely rebuilt a Gloucestershire community centre last night, in an act of mindless violence.

Between the hours of 1 and 2am, about a dozen mindless thugs descended on to the ruined remains of the Thornbury Community Centre and set about rebuilding it from scratch, using the existing foundations to construct a post-modernist structure of fine architectural heritage.

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