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I don’t need to know the offside rule to know that this World Cup has been fucking hijacked

Welcome to South Africa. Once again, The Taxman have sent me packing on a trip to some random country in the middle of some random continent because, apparently, there is something important happening out here.

But what would I know about any sodding football tournament when I’m holed up here in my hotel room vomiting like a 19-year-old in a cider house on his birthday? How did they think a chronic asthmatic would feel 1,200 metres above sea level?

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Change the system, not the climate

Today, fifteen thousand humans gather at the Bella Center in Copenhagen. Ten thousand of them shoulder the responsibility of safeguarding their species from unimaginable suffering, widespread death, and possibly even extinction.

As many as 50,000 more humans are expected to arrive, elsewhere in Copenhagen, to help make sure this responsibility isn’t forgotten. Unrepresented, meanwhile, are 1.25 million other species that face similar, if not graver threats to their existence.

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That global warming thing can’t happen quick enough

Following the death of my ex-wife, I’ve been enjoying some of the finer things in life.

Short-haul flights to Barcelona, driving my 4×4, and, of course, shooting foxes. Anything to take my mind off the dark shadow soon to be cast over my life. No, not the legal dispute with my ex-mother-in-law, I refer instead to the horrid time of year known as winter.

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