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Osama Bin Laden Gives Himself Up

Osama Bin Laden, the world’s most wanted man, was captured last night by allied forces in Afghanistan.

The steadfast leader of Al-Qaeda gave himself up citing concerns that Britain was intent on replacing its Trident nuclear weapons programme.


US School Children To Be Issued With Firearms

The US government will be issuing guns to school children in a bid to curb gun crime.

Following a spate of fatal school shootings across the country, US schools will be fully equipped with a range of firearms within the next 48 hours.


Bush Plot To Oust Schwarzenegger Foiled After Arnie Kills All the Bad Guys

The Bush administration was left reeling last night after its carefully devised plan to oust the Governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger, was thwarted in blockbuster fashion.

Schwarzenegger battled against the odds and overcame, among other things; laser gunfire, missile strikes, invisible alien life forms and seemingly indestructible robots before finally killing all the bad guys in a bloody finale.


Bush Declares War On Kyrgyzstan

US President George W. Bush has declared war on the Republic of Kyrgyzstan.

The exact reason why Bush has targeted the former Soviet republic as the next victim in the War on Terror is unclear, but the president gave a statement yesterday.

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