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Rich Nations Agree On Climate Disagreement

The G8 Summit in Japan this week has ended with a landmark disagreement on climate change as the leaders of the world’s richest nations all agreed to settle their differences at next years’ meeting.

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Police Lock-up Civil Liberty, Throw Away Key

The Metropolitan Police today arrested our civil liberties, took them to a jail cell, threw away the key, spat in their food and mocked them while they were still within earshot.

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Obama Shot JFK, Claims Clinton

US presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton has claimed that Demcratic rival Barack Obama was John F Kennedy’s assassin.

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Chavez Vows To Fight “First World” Poverty

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez has vowed to help fight “crippling poverty in the First World” if he were to be re-elected for a third term in today’s elections.

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Rumsfeld Appointed As New Attack Secretary

US president George W. Bush has responded to devastating defeats in the polls this week by appointing ex defence secretary, Donald Rumsfeld, into the newly-created position of ‘attack secretary’.

Rumsfeld, who resigned on Wednesday, was hastily brought back into the administration on Thursday by the president as he announced his new exit strategy from Iraq.

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North Korea Launches Nuclear Prank Warhead

North Korea has sent shockwaves around the world after successfully launching its secret nuclear prank strike on the US state of Alaska.

At approximately 12pm local time – the height of Inuit rush-hour – the North Korean ‘nuclear prank warhead’ landed and detonated somewhere inside the Arctic Circle region of Yukon-Koyukuk County, some 2,500 miles from its intended target of Los Angeles.

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US School Children To Be Issued With Firearms

The US government will be issuing guns to school children in a bid to curb gun crime.

Following a spate of fatal school shootings across the country, US schools will be fully equipped with a range of firearms within the next 48 hours.

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