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This British spring is an absolute scorcher

I’m so glad winter has finally passed, I tell you, after losing £31.8billion in Las Vegas, the freezing downpours of the last few months took me to the brink of suicide.

But now spring has firmly announced its presence, I am looking forward to a long, hot summer. The kind of summer where you can fry eggs on the pavement and ‘accidentally’ poison your wife. Life is good.

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Obama Joins Liberal Democrats

US President Barack Obama has been unveiled as the newest member of the Liberal Democrat Party.

Obama told the party’s annual conference that he was greatly impressed with the way they had caved in to the ruling neo-cons since they gained power and hoped he could swap notes with leader Nick Clegg.

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Memorial Service for 9/11 Survivors Who Endured Last Ten Years

The 2,977 people killed by terrorists on 11th September 2001 marked the tenth anniversary of their deaths today with a sombre ceremony to remember those unfortunate survivors who have had to live through the last gruesome decade.

Scarcely able to comprehend their luck at avoiding the Bush presidency, the War on Terror, the erosion of civil liberties, the rise of stringent airport security, the proliferation of media scare stories, the greatest recession since the 1930s, the Tea Party, Simon Cowell and the worst effects of man-made climate change, 9/11 victims momentarily ceased their non-stop Afterlife party to reflect on the horror since suffered by those who didn’t die in the attacks.

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Blair Placed On ‘Gardening Leave’ From Middle East Peacemaking Job

British warmonger, Tony Blair, has been ordered by his employers to stand down from his role as envoy for peace to the Middle East after it emerged that he was underperforming in a number of his key job tasks.

The violent killing of protesters in Libya, following the violent protests in Bahrain, following the violent revolution in Egypt, following the violent overthrow of Tunisia’s president, following decades of Western-funded violence using Western-manufactured weapons, was not the kind of progress UN secretary-general, Ban Ki-moon, had been hoping for when he helped appoint Blair as the region’s peace envoy in 2007.

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Wikileaks Cables: US Mocked Over Failure To Censor Wikileaks Cables

In the latest US diplomatic cables released by whistle-blowing website Wikileaks, the US ambassador in Beijing claims to be the victim of a prolonged Chinese bullying campaign because of America’s ongoing inability to silence dissidents, such as on the whistle-blowing website Wikileaks.

As site founder Julian Assange sat through another day of his extradition hearing at Belmarsh Magistrates’ Court, in London, cable 11BEIJING439 was mysteriously uploaded from an unknown location within Belmarsh Magistrates’ Court, in London.

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War On Truth

Nato launched a new military strategy this week, one they claim will redefine the way we all perceive our ephemeral reality.

The ‘War on Truth’ will attack our very state of consciousness, infiltrating our minds and skewing our rational thought processes.

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Arms Dealer Admits Putting Profits Before Death

Weapons manufacturer BAE Systems has admitted the pursuit of profit is more important than its other activities, such as war, genocide and worsening child mortality rates.

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