Breaking News: Aberdeen residents vow to survive oncoming meteor collision...
You Are Here: Home » Posts tagged "Lib Dems"

Coalition Government Just A Dream

The government has been run by chimpanzees on acid the past five years and the Tory and Lib Dem coalition was just a dream.

These are the shocking realisations millions of Britons are now making as they finally wake up to the reality of the rather less ridiculous acid-chimp scenario.

...more

Danny Alexander ‘Made Of Plasticine’

The Chief Secretary to the Treasury is made of Plasticine, according to a leaked Lib Dem document.

Danny Alexander, who lives in a small box on George Osborne’s desk, is apparently able to morph into different shapes depending on whom he is being moulded by at any given time.

...more

Free Schools ‘Not Free’

Free schools cost money, it has been revealed.

Education secretary Michael Gove confirmed today that his flagship free schools policy is based on the definition of ‘free’ which means ‘without responsibility or duty’, rather than ‘without cost’.

...more

Nick Clegg: “I’m sorry”

Hello, my name is Nick Clegg. This is a newspaper column that I have been allowed to write, and, if it’s alright with you, I’d like to use it to grovel.

Now, as you may know, I’m the Deputy Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. I was hired to do this job after my party finished third in a general election four years ago.

...more

Benefits To Be Replaced By Handicaps

Benefits will be entirely replaced by a new handicap system based on how poor you are.

The welfare state is an old-fashioned, cumbersome institution that needs to be rebuilt from scratch as something completely different, the government reckons.

...more

Mess Left By Labour Getting Messier

The government has lost its top hygiene rating because of the huge mess dumped outside 10 Downing Street.

Britain is now rated CRAAAP and will only regain its cleanliness certificate if it finally clears up the stinking heap in Westminster, which grows bigger and bigger by the day.

...more

Under-25s ‘Should Be Killed’

Every Briton under the age of 25 years must be slain, David Cameron has said.

The Prime Minister believes any citizen born after 1987 does not have the right to life and should be violently exterminated forthwith.

...more
web design by clickcreations
Scroll to top