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Government Strike Multi-Quadrillion Pound Deal With Devil

The British government has moved to ease credit-flow problems in Hell by handing Satan £666,000,000,000,000 (666 trillion) in cash, with a further £6,000,000,000,000,000 (six quadrillion) available by postal order.

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Police Lock-up Civil Liberty, Throw Away Key

The Metropolitan Police today arrested our civil liberties, took them to a jail cell, threw away the key, spat in their food and mocked them while they were still within earshot.

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