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Give us our country back

In a land now largely owned and leased back from corporations, the role of the state could not be in more doubt.

From Thatcher to Major to Blair to Brown, the transfer of our public services to private enterprise has proceeded unabated for over 30 years. It is likely to continue, whoever wins on 6th May. But is it really important who serves us? So long as we get what we need, does it matter if the water we drink is contaminated with greed?

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One-In-1000-Year Events Now Happening Every Friday

A millennium is now happening every seven days, weather forecasters have confirmed.

Weeks have turned to seconds, months to minutes, and in another couple of days Britain is due to receive its average annual rainfall in the same time it takes a local news reporter to put their wellies on.

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The idiot’s guide to public spending cuts

If you’re going to cut public spending to help pay off the national debt, instead of taxing those to blame for causing said debt, at least do it properly.

The Conservative Party’s idiotic plans to cut £23billion over the course of the next parliament, or £5.75billion on average each year, will make the poor poorer and the even poorer shit-poor. They’ll be freezing public sector pay, slashing benefits and privatising anything that isn’t nailed down to Whitehall.

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Wind Turbine Objectors Okay With Pylons, PVC Conservatories, Deforestation, More

Vociferous campaigners against plans to build a wind farm in Middle England say they have no problem with 50-metre electricity pylons, nor anything else that has been forcibly added to or taken away from the rural landscape over the last 10,000 years since man first settled on this forested island.

The new windmills proposed for erection upon one of Britain’s best-loved patches of grass may provide enough clean, renewable energy to power five billion patio heaters and at least two-and-a-half billion garden water features, but the Campaign against Upstanding New Turbine Structures (Cunts) is not satisfied the suggested benefits will offset the damage to a landscape admired for its unnecessary street lamps, oversized conservatories, agricultural scarring and historical deforestation.

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Christmas Cancelled

Christmas this year has been cancelled, as millions of Britons are now unable to consume at the level required.

The recession means that the three core values of Christmas – shopping, spending and eating – are now financially untenable for the average hard-working family, leading to the downfall of capitalism’s most cherished payday.

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