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I don’t care what my psychologist says, I hate bloody rain

Having just awoken from a self-induced coma following my overdose on anti-depressants, I am completely unaware of the last couple months’ weather. I keep asking people, but they refuse to tell me.

I’m now seeing a psychologist, who has already diagnosed me with ‘hydrophobia’, a fear of precipitation. Apparently it’s common in my profession.


Chavez Vows To Fight “First World” Poverty

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez has vowed to help fight “crippling poverty in the First World” if he were to be re-elected for a third term in today’s elections.


Bush Declares War On Mars

US president, George W. Bush, has declared war on the planet Mars.

It will be the most expensive war in history, costing millions of billions of trillions of dollars – money originally earmarked for building the first McDonalds on the moon.

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