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Under-25s ‘Should Be Killed’

Every Briton under the age of 25 years must be slain, David Cameron has said.

The Prime Minister believes any citizen born after 1987 does not have the right to life and should be violently exterminated forthwith.

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Doctors To Spend NHS Budget On Lobbying for Euthanasia

A survey of General Practitioners (GPs) has shown that if the coalition government pushed through its health reforms and gave them control of budgets, they would spend all of it on lobbying for euthanasia and various other new laws.

Top of the shopping list for the nation’s doctors is permission to let any terminal patients with no quality of life die, instead of forcing them to exist in a semi-conscious, undignified, taxpayers’ money-sapping state during their inexorable decline.

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Students To Be Assaulted By Ministers Daily

University students in England and Wales will have to endure a daily beating by ministers, the government has announced.

The compulsory assaults will be targeted at vulnerable areas of the body such as the head, abdomen and groin, with the aim to gradually wear down the student until they are hospitalised.

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Lies, damned lies and a Liberal Con

After the election of 2005, I wrote an obituary for British democracy. Now in 2010, we are promised that things will change.

Clegg and Cameron tell us our democracy will be revived, resurrected, reformed. We want to believe them, but something’s stopping us. It’s the lies. The big stinking pile of lies.

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War On Peace

Nato forces in Afghanistan say their next military invasion – after they have finished crushing the Taliban sometime in 2073 – will involve storming the headquarters of the Oxford English Dictionary and amalgamating the words ‘war’ and ‘peace’ into one single, bloody entry.

The operation will involve killing everyone in sight including passers-by who happen to get in the way, while urinating on any survivors.

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