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Credit Crunch Not As Good As Other Breakfast Cereals

Disasters of epic proportions are currently hitting the Western World regions of Wall Street and The City, with thousands of capitalist profiteers no longer wearing their suits.

In what is collectively being dubbed ‘the credit crunch’, where once there were puppet-masters smiling and dancing free atop great mountains of pretty green paper; there now lie cold, dark, empty vaults.

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Mugabe ‘Not Evil Enough’

World leaders have hit out at Zimbabwe tyrant Robert Mugabe for not quite being evil enough to do anything about.

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Transport Secretary To Humanely Kill Billions Of People

Transport secretary Ruth Kelly has announced a humane programme of genocide.

It follows last week’s announcement of a third runway at Heathrow Airport, which cemented Britain’s indefensible hypocrisy and set an historical precedent that will ensure the deaths of billions of people this century from the effects of man-made climate change.

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British National Party Leader Apologises For Abolishing Slavery

British National Party leader Nick Griffin has formally apologised for Britain’s role in abolishing slavery 200 years ago.

Speaking at his party’s spring conference, Griffin described the actions of his forefathers as “heinous” and called on the government to repeal the law which brought to an end Britain’s part in the trans-Atlantic slave trade.

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