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Danny Alexander ‘Made Of Plasticine’

The Chief Secretary to the Treasury is made of Plasticine, according to a leaked Lib Dem document.

Danny Alexander, who lives in a small box on George Osborne’s desk, is apparently able to morph into different shapes depending on whom he is being moulded by at any given time.

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Kensington needs flood defences, too

I haven’t even left my penthouse so far this winter. I don’t like rain, you see, and, well, it’s been drizzling, hasn’t it?

But there’s one area of the country the Environment Agency seems to have completely forgotten about. Now they’re making 1,500 job cuts, I fear it will be washed away altogether.

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Extreme ways are back again

Extremism has shaken Britain to its core.

Two men have done their best to destroy the very fabric of our society. Their callous, extreme acts, have been witnessed by many and been condemned across the land.

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Sleepy Downing Street Still Not Smelling Tax Haven Stench

A payment of £10million delivered by a tax-dodging coffee company has failed to wake the British government up from its 55-year coma, sources indicate.

Officials from Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs (HMRC) said although they were doing all they could to flex their nostrils, the Starbucks cash received last week had not helped them smell anything close to a single waft of the stench that has emanated from offshore tax havens since the late 1950s.

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“Savile Should Have Been Stopped,” Says Osborne

Chancellor George Osborne had said it was “Britain’s shame” that Jimmy Savile was never stopped from ruining people’s lives.

The former Top Of The Pops viewer has been allowed to attack young people for two-and-a-half years despite being such an obviously crooked, depraved creep.

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George Osborne Refuses To Flush His Shit

George Osborne has said the hosepipe ban in southern and eastern England must remain in place – despite the fact it’s fucking pissing it down.

The Chancellor of the Exchequer vowed to ignore what was happening outside and has even added to our peril by banning the double-flush.

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It’s not the Scots who want to destroy Great Britain

David Cameron and his coalition government are doing everything within their power to destroy the British state.

The Conservative Party hate the idea of a big, overarching government providing lots of useful public services, and since winning back power two years ago they have pursued every avenue they could find in order to scale down the state’s ambitions.

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