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Third TV Leaders’ Debate To Be Staged Inside 16ft Steel Cage

The leaders of Britain’s top three political parties will contest the third and final live television debate inside a 16-foot steel cage, under the authority of Stone Cold Steve Austin.

The move is seen as an attempt to encourage Gordon Brown, Nick Clegg and David Cameron to annihilate each other prior to the General Election on 6th May.

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Give us our country back

In a land now largely owned and leased back from corporations, the role of the state could not be in more doubt.

From Thatcher to Major to Blair to Brown, the transfer of our public services to private enterprise has proceeded unabated for over 30 years. It is likely to continue, whoever wins on 6th May. But is it really important who serves us? So long as we get what we need, does it matter if the water we drink is contaminated with greed?

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The idiot’s guide to public spending cuts

If you’re going to cut public spending to help pay off the national debt, instead of taxing those to blame for causing said debt, at least do it properly.

The Conservative Party’s idiotic plans to cut £23billion over the course of the next parliament, or £5.75billion on average each year, will make the poor poorer and the even poorer shit-poor. They’ll be freezing public sector pay, slashing benefits and privatising anything that isn’t nailed down to Whitehall.

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The Telegraph Files: Reporters’ Shoddy Journalism Techniques Revealed

Journalists at the Daily Telegraph are today implicated by The Taxman, as documents bought at a local newsagent reveal just how darn shoddy they really are.

In exchange for 90p that we would argue was 90p too much, the documents clearly show the depths to which this one-time bastion of good practice and journalistic heritage has plummeted in order to start shifting papers.

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Join the Conservative Party!

Bored with Blair? Labour letting you down? Looking for a new political party that shares your views? Join the Conservative Party! We share everybody’s views – even yours! That’s right the Tories are back, and this time, we’re here to stay! So get in store today and see for yourself our fine new range of policies.

Feel guilty about the size of your carbon footprint? We’ll make you feel better! Our new leader cycles to work! High taxes forcing you to shop at ASDA? Don’t worry! We’ll lower them! Tired of receiving free healthcare? No problem – we’ll make you pay for it! Committed a crime? We’ll send you to jail! Until you die!

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