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Shoot me in the knee caps – anything but more rain

A colleague of mine was telling me the other day about this new weather thing called global warming.

I had no idea what he was on about to be honest, but apparently it’s meant to make everywhere hotter. Sweet. That’s all I needed to know!


Top Gear’s Clarkson Run Down By Speeding ‘Super Car’

Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson was this morning run down by a speeding ‘super car’, the Chrysler Dodge Snake, or something like that.

The driver of the vehicle was killed after he knocked down Clarkson and subsequently veered into a petrol station, dying instantly from the resulting fireball.


Bush Plot To Oust Schwarzenegger Foiled After Arnie Kills All the Bad Guys

The Bush administration was left reeling last night after its carefully devised plan to oust the Governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger, was thwarted in blockbuster fashion.

Schwarzenegger battled against the odds and overcame, among other things; laser gunfire, missile strikes, invisible alien life forms and seemingly indestructible robots before finally killing all the bad guys in a bloody finale.

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