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Rich Nations Agree On Climate Disagreement

The G8 Summit in Japan this week has ended with a landmark disagreement on climate change as the leaders of the world’s richest nations all agreed to settle their differences at next years’ meeting.

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Go green, buy this!

Want to continue living an excessive lifestyle of gluttony and waste, but worried about the impact you’re having on the environment? Well worry no more, because we have all the green solutions you need.

That’s right – everything you want, everything you need, everything you didn’t realise you wanted or needed, all here, and all green.

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Transport Secretary To Humanely Kill Billions Of People

Transport secretary Ruth Kelly has announced a humane programme of genocide.

It follows last week’s announcement of a third runway at Heathrow Airport, which cemented Britain’s indefensible hypocrisy and set an historical precedent that will ensure the deaths of billions of people this century from the effects of man-made climate change.

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Help us to hide the truth!

Work for the carbon industry? Have right-wing views? You’re probably looking for reasons not to accept the fact that man-made climate change and its devastating consequences are largely your fault. Well look no further.

Whomever you work for, however conservative your opinions, we have all the answers you need for those awkward questions about the climate crisis.

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That global warming thing can’t happen quick enough

Following the death of my ex-wife, I’ve been enjoying some of the finer things in life.

Short-haul flights to Barcelona, driving my 4×4, and, of course, shooting foxes. Anything to take my mind off the dark shadow soon to be cast over my life. No, not the legal dispute with my ex-mother-in-law, I refer instead to the horrid time of year known as winter.

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High Court Rules 2+2=4 ‘May Not Be Correct’

A landmark verdict by the High Court today has ruled that the sum of 2+2=4 may not be correct and should not be taught in school as fact.

Mr Justice Wright said that the mathematical consensus did not fully support the assumption and the counter view of 2+2=5 should also be taught in primary schools, allowing children to make up their own minds as to which is correct.

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The man who killed himself

There once was a man. He started smoking cigarettes at 17 years of age. At first, he was just seeking some cheap thrill. But it made him feel liberated, and he decided to smoke more of them.

Before he knew it, he was buying a packet of cigarettes every week. But he was still young. Soon, one packet wasn’t enough.

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