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Refugees Fleeing Torture ‘Wimps’

Asylum seekers, refugees and all immigrants that look a bit tanned are just cowards too scared of getting their genitalia hacked off, David Cameron told a group of Daily Mail readers yesterday.

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Police Lock-up Civil Liberty, Throw Away Key

The Metropolitan Police today arrested our civil liberties, took them to a jail cell, threw away the key, spat in their food and mocked them while they were still within earshot.

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Fashion Victim Cautioned for Wearing Sunglasses On Overcast Day

A bin man has been cautioned by a local council for wearing sunglasses on a murky and overcast autumn day.

The caution came after a local resident made a complaint to his local council regarding the refuse lorry operative’s appearance.

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Government Gets Behind Smoking Crackdown

An Anti-Smoking Squad (ASS) will be established to enforce the impending ban.

The specialist team will be patrolling our streets looking for people smoking in illegal places, such as 24-hour pubs.

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Binge Drinking Is To Blame

Britain’s cities are increasingly suffering from problems caused by binge drinking.

Our town centres have become plagued in the early hours by drunken youths out for a good time, but who frequently go too far.

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