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Bastard Bankers Beaten By British Backslap

Bankers will keep their bonuses this year if they are each able to find an individual of working age who doesn’t know how to use a calculator, British taxpayers have announced.

Their bonuses will be doubled if they can find a school pupil who doesn’t know the difference between an upward curve and a downward curve.

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I predict a riot

Today has been historic. Of all the days in British political history, today will take some beating. Because on this day, the government has pledged to solve a huge financial deficit with a massive deficit of its own.

An intellectual deficit so severe it makes George Bush look like Stephen Hawking.

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World Leaders Finally Agree To Destroy Planet

After two years of hard negotiations, the leaders of the world have finally come to an agreement on climate change: “Let it destroy the planet and everything on it.”

The oil, coal, petrochemical, motor, aviation, shipping, agrofuel, banking and energy generation industries have each described the Copenhagen Accord as a ‘landmark deal’ that will ‘radically change the way we all die’.

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The idiot’s guide to public spending cuts

If you’re going to cut public spending to help pay off the national debt, instead of taxing those to blame for causing said debt, at least do it properly.

The Conservative Party’s idiotic plans to cut £23billion over the course of the next parliament, or £5.75billion on average each year, will make the poor poorer and the even poorer shit-poor. They’ll be freezing public sector pay, slashing benefits and privatising anything that isn’t nailed down to Whitehall.

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In the interest of keeping us poor

When the Bank of England lowered its base interest rates to 0.5 percent earlier this month, it was another small step toward justice.

This cut should be welcomed and celebrated – whatever the real motive behind it. Because, more than any other capitalist mechanism, interest rates exist to widen the divide between rich and poor.

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