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Oil Firms Slam Gaddafi On Human Rights

The world’s top oil firms have united to condemn Colonel Gaddafi’s ‘appalling’ record on human rights in Libya.

The Oil Firms Against Libya (OFAL) collective said today that dropping bombs on innocent civilians in the desert nation was about ending their suffering, and ending their suffering only.

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Nothing At All Happening In the World Right Now, Confirms British Media

Absolutely nothing, nada, zilch is occurring in any of the world’s 195 countries, according to British media outlets.

No-one is dying of disease and/or starvation, no-one’s army is invading and/or occupying anyone’s country and no-one’s economy is about to collapse. Whatsoever.

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Refugees Fleeing Torture ‘Wimps’

Asylum seekers, refugees and all immigrants that look a bit tanned are just cowards too scared of getting their genitalia hacked off, David Cameron told a group of Daily Mail readers yesterday.

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Blair Placed On ‘Gardening Leave’ From Middle East Peacemaking Job

British warmonger, Tony Blair, has been ordered by his employers to stand down from his role as envoy for peace to the Middle East after it emerged that he was underperforming in a number of his key job tasks.

The violent killing of protesters in Libya, following the violent protests in Bahrain, following the violent revolution in Egypt, following the violent overthrow of Tunisia’s president, following decades of Western-funded violence using Western-manufactured weapons, was not the kind of progress UN secretary-general, Ban Ki-moon, had been hoping for when he helped appoint Blair as the region’s peace envoy in 2007.

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I don’t need to know the offside rule to know that this World Cup has been fucking hijacked

Welcome to South Africa. Once again, The Taxman have sent me packing on a trip to some random country in the middle of some random continent because, apparently, there is something important happening out here.

But what would I know about any sodding football tournament when I’m holed up here in my hotel room vomiting like a 19-year-old in a cider house on his birthday? How did they think a chronic asthmatic would feel 1,200 metres above sea level?

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Arms Dealer Admits Putting Profits Before Death

Weapons manufacturer BAE Systems has admitted the pursuit of profit is more important than its other activities, such as war, genocide and worsening child mortality rates.

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