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Police Lock-up Civil Liberty, Throw Away Key

met police

The Metropolitan Police today arrested our civil liberties, took them to a jail cell, threw away the key, spat in their food and mocked them while they were still within earshot.

“We’re gonna lock you up for good this time, punk!” said a Met officer to our civil liberties.

“We’ll put you in prison for as long as it takes society to forget you exist.”

The incident came following a state visit from US terrorist and part-time comedian, George ‘The President’ Bush, of which the Met Police is an official fan club.

Officers queued for hours outside Downing Street this morning in order to secure a good spot from which to see their idol, who was later scheduled to have coffee and doughnuts with British Prime Minister Gordon Brown.

Bush, famous for his press conference skit in which he says that America is winning the war in Iraq, first visited The Queen before flying to Whitehall.

“We love you, Bush!” screamed a group of police officers that had camped outside Windsor Castle in order to get a glimpse of their terrorist hero.

Things turned ugly, however, when the Met decided to stop non-terrorists walking down the street.

“Get him quick,” said one officer. “Before he commits a crime of some sort!”

Thousands of would-be criminals were prevented from terrorising Britain with their loud music and bad dress sense as Bush entertained the police with a joke about how many Guantanamo Bay inmates it takes to change a light bulb.

But the ultimate villain – civil liberty – wasn’t seized until several New Labour politicians joined the party.

Brown told his merry cohort: “When our national security is at risk, it is imperative we give police the power to jail as many people as possible without any red tape such as trials or charges.

“It is better to be safe and alive in prison than it is to be terrified of dying in the outside world.

“Which you will be because we’re going to let the police beat the shit out of you.”


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