Heroic Mice Slay Evil Rats
The raid hit at the heart of the Great Evil Rat Empire and will severely weaken the resolve of their leader, Roland. His hopes of fathering a murderous rat mega-litter appear to have been dented, at least for a few minutes.
None of the super heroic mice assassins survived the mission, and despite reports that some evil rat victims may in fact have been innocent, wholesome gerbils, super mouse chief Mickey said the operation had been a complete success.
He squeaked The Taxman: “It may be that we accidentally killed the odd gerbil or vole, but any innocent rodents we lose now will be far outweighed in number by those we will have saved from future rat attacks.
“We have a difficult job to do in wiping out the evil rat race, but now is not the time to waiver. We mustn’t forget that they are rats, after all, and they are far less deserving of life than any mouse, hamster, chinchilla, guinea pig or lemming.”
The scourge of the rat has cast a long shadow over the Rodent Kingdom for many days now, but the end may soon be in sight.
Rodent leader, Brer Rabbit, has reiterated that “all of us rodents are in this together” and that “to stop killing rats now would jeopardise our quest for peace”.
Thousands of super mice assassins remain stationed close to the heart of the Great Evil Rat Empire, many engaging in heroic missions to chop off rat tails, eat rat babies, ignite rat nests and generally just make life hell for those evil rats who survived Tuesday’s rat holocaust.
“Our mission would be so much easier if those damned evil rats hadn’t set so many mousetraps along the path to their kingdom,” munched Brer Rabbit.
“Thankfully, not all of God’s creatures eat cheese.”
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