Greece Melted Down
The country was collected this morning by Troika Waste Authority Team (TWAT) and taken to a mechanical and biological waste treatment plant in Brussels.
A few hours later, TWAT confirmed that Greece had been ‘thoroughly processed’ and converted into a ‘refuse-derived fuel’ that would later be used in a thermal combustion power plant to produce electricity for the rest of the European Union.
Some recyclable elements of Greece were salvaged before the biological process began and will be reused or reformed into more useful products.
It is believed that one of the Greek parts salvaged was the Acropolis, which is now likely to be made into a recycled coffee cup.
A TWAT spokesman said: “By disposing of Greece in this way we are able to salvage whatever useful bits and bobs we can from this waste country and extract some value from it for EU citizens.
“Greece, as you know, had been struggling to justify its existence for some time. TWAT’s mechanical and biological waste tratement solution will ensure that Greece can continue to contribute to the EU for years to come.
“Now everytime an EU citizen turns their lights on, they’ll know that they’re making the absolute most out of a country that had long since lost any reason for existing.”
While Greece itself has been melted down and recycled, mystery surrounds the fate of the Greek people.
Sources in Albania, Macedonia and Bulgaria claimed they heard screaming, but other more reliable sources, mostly German and American, claim the screams were merely the sound of abandoned pets being swallowed up by TWAT’s massive grinding machine and that the Greek population had been safely rehoused in Syria.