Colourful Language Not Welcome On Our Fascist TV Programmes, Says BBC
The BBC has this morning expressed its regret that a special fascist edition of Question Time was last night littered with rude, offensive swear words.
The producers of the show say they had to bleep the words ‘fucking’ and ‘cunt’ because they did not comply with the corporation’s policy on the use of colourful language during fascist programming.
“Our core principles of impartiality and freedom of speech do not allow any room for such dirty, impartial language to be freely spoken,” BBC Director General Mark Thompson explained.
“All fascist and/or racist views must be expressed in a completely clean and colourless way.”
Other fascist programmes on the BBC, including the Andrew Marr Show and Strictly Come Dancing, will now be closely scrutinised to ensure no such colourful words are allowed entry.
Derren Brown has even been hired to try and predict when such language might be spoken, and to stamp the offending words out before they roll off the tongue without even a valid passport.
“Excusing your ‘French’ is no longer good enough,” Mr Thompson continued. “We must see to it that ‘French’ words are not spoken in the first place.
“Quite frankly, they should go back to their own country. We don’t want them mixing with our indigenous, white language.”
Mr Thompson also defended the use of the bleeping machine on last night’s show, and said the BBC was currently planning to build a new wave of bleeping machines that could be capable of censoring millions of colourful words in a matter of just a few months.
The BBC chief added: “All of our racist and fascist shows must be cleansed of these horrid, dirty swear words. A systematic extermination of colourful language, through the use of our bleepers, would do the trick nicely.”
One of the fascists on Question Time last night was Justice Minister Jack Straw, who mocked the show’s other fascist panel member, British National Party leader Nick Griffin, for having killed so few Muslims.
Boasted Straw: “We killed so many of them in Iraq we lost count! What have you done? Thrown a few insults here, a racist remark there, threatened this and that. All talk and no action, you are, Mr Griffin.
“Here, in the Labour Party, we just get on with the job of killing Muslims.”
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