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Shoot me in the knee caps – anything but more rain

A colleague of mine was telling me the other day about this new weather thing called global warming.

I had no idea what he was on about to be honest, but apparently it’s meant to make everywhere hotter. Sweet. That’s all I needed to know!

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When’s the next plane to Mali?

Bloody immigration control. Who would have thought that the Malian government could be so authoritarian?

Next time I’ll get in as a meteorological refugee. See how they like that.

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Heavens above, why do you curse us with this rain?

The Taxman has finally splashed the cash and hired a meteorologist: Me, Jim Wetherman.

I shall be providing some extremely irregular seven-day weather forecasts that will hopefully provide you, dear readers, with the perspicacious knowledge required to prepare for the week ahead.

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