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Skunk Anansie: Wonderlustre

Last night I had a music dream about Grant Nicholas. There I was, stroking his guitar, licking his microphone, running my hand up and down his G-string. It was the most stimulating night’s sleep I’d had since Freddy Mercury was alive.

Then, The Taxman had to go ruin it by ringing me up at ridiculous’o’clock on a Wednesday afternoon, asking me to review the new Skunk Anansie album, Wonderlustre.

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Feeder: Renegades

What do you do when a band you’ve been slating for five years makes a rollicking album of unrelenting bombast and guile, harking back to the roots you’ve been yearning for and romanticising over, while also outshining every last one of the new rock acts that you’ve elevated to an undeserved pedestal in the same period?

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Simon Cowell: Helping Haiti

What? What’s this? Simon Cowell is doing something selfless? Out of the goodness of his heart? What?

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Cheryl Cole: 3 Words

Michael Jackson. Cheryl Cole is obsessed with Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson. King of Pop. Michael Jackson. But her album’s no thriller.

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Arctic Monkeys: Humbug

Those fine gentleman at The Taxman were so delighted with my considered tribute to Michael Jackson that they asked me to write some more long-player reviews for them.

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RIP Michael Jackson

The death of Michael Jackson has shocked me to my core, but that was nothing compared to the shock I had picking up the phone last night. “We’ve just heard that Jacko’s popped it,” the voice said. “Who’s this?” I asked. “Oh yeah, it’s The Taxman,” they replied.

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Glastonbury 2008

Yes, that’s right, I’ve spent the last two days at Glastonbury Festival, in Somerset, England.

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