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Join the British Killing Squad!

You’re born, you cry, you grow, you don’t get enough love from your father, you bully, you miss school, you get into fights, you’re aggressive, impatient, misogynist, pliable, easily brainwashed.

You join the military, you obey orders, you learn to shoot, bomb, kill, you enjoy it, you shoot, it feels good, you kill, you laugh, you murder, you joke, you bomb a school, a hospital, a village, it’s fun, your friends die, your legs get blown off.

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This brand is better than that other brand!

Hey look, look at us, over here, check out our logo and our cool packaging. Aren’t we cool?

We’ve got snazzy catchphrases, a pumping soundtrack and lots of pretty colours. Did you also notice how cool we are?

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Watch this and forget how evil we are!

We are a disgraceful company that has committed horrific crimes against both humanity and the environment. Abuses of all kinds have been perpetrated against people, planet, and, whenever possible, against cute animals, all under the name of our brand.

Whatever unethical activities we deem necessary for the furtherance of our profit margins, we won’t hesitate to take part in it. Habitat destruction, tax evasion, workforce exploitation, you name it, we’ve made money out of it.

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Trust me, I’m famous!

Hi there. As you may have noticed, I am a celebrity. My face is familiar to you and the artistic pursuits which made me famous may or may not have brought you a limited amount of pleasure.

Although I already have more money than I need to live comfortably, I have decided to earn lots more money I don’t need by trying to sell you something that you don’t need and help increase the profits of a corporation that is already very profitable.

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Buy this product or die!

For years you have been living in peace, safe in the knowledge that your life expectancy is about 75 years.

Well not anymore. Because we’ve just discovered a new problem, a new health hazard, a new threat to your blissful life and the joyous lives of your family and friends.

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Eat, drink, consume!

Is your government failing to cope with basic social problems such as crime, suicide, mental health and obesity?

Do they rule by fear, and control by aggression? Then you’ll probably want to avoid society’s failures and climb the hierarchy as quickly as possible to leave those problems behind.

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