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Trust me, I’m famous!

Stephen Fry drinks teaHi there. As you may have noticed, I am a celebrity. My face is familiar to you and the artistic pursuits which made me famous may or may not have brought you a limited amount of pleasure.

Although I already have more money than I need to live comfortably, I have decided to earn lots more money I don’t need by trying to sell you something that you don’t need and help increase the profits of a corporation that is already very profitable.

As someone who is both familiar and friendly, I am well placed to make this product appear more appealing to you. I don’t mind taking time away from my artistic pursuits to do this because I am vacant inside and will do almost anything for money.

Appearing on television yet more is also a further boost for my massive ego.

So I hope you don’t mind my additional unexpected intrusion into your life, but apart from the money and the narcissism, I do genuinely believe that this is a useful product. Although you don’t need it and it will cost you more money than you can reasonably afford, I still think you should buy it.

Don’t let the fact that it is a useless piece of crap you could buy second-hand on eBay for half the price dissuade you from buying it right now by calling this premium-rate phone number.

And don’t forget that I am someone familiar to you, who is good looking and has brought you joy. You look up to me, I can sense it. This is why you should trust me that this product really is worth buying.

Honest.




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