Go green, buy this!
Want to continue living an excessive lifestyle of gluttony and waste, but worried about the impact you’re having on the environment? Well worry no more, because we have all the green solutions you need.
That’s right – everything you want, everything you need, everything you didn’t realise you wanted or needed, all here, and all green.
We’ve got green cars; green 4x4s; green flights; green gas for your central heating; green electricity for your dishwashers, plasma televisions and Christmas light displays; green petrol for your green sports car; green coal for your power stations; green food imported by NASA from Mars; green computers that don’t have an off button and even green crude oil for those occasions when lighter fluid just isn’t enough.
So what are you waiting for? Take the opportunity to dispense with your guilt, and pretend that everything is going to be okay.
Those liberal wankers say we have to cut back to save the planet. We say, you can’t save the planet without consuming more products – green products that is!
Green. Green. We’re green. We sell green products.
Buy them. Buy them now.