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Corbyn pledges to accept one million refugees in his beard

Hundreds of thousands of refugees fleeing war, murder, rape and economic collapse are set to make new homes deep within Jeremy Corbyn’s beard.

The newly-elected Labour Party leader said there was “plenty of room” in and around the hair follicles of his silver facial fuzz for the refugees to “start a new life” free from violence and fear.


September 13, 2015

I won’t stand by and watch the country I love blown apart by a Force Five Fuckwit

Here we are then. The last week of Great Britain. After Thursday, thanks to an endorsement by a skinny, drug-addicted, tortoise-stealing comedian, this country will basically cease to exist.

Yeah you heard me. This is it. The end. Once Labour get in, Ed Millicunt has already basically admitted that he is going to turn The Treasury into an ATM machine for the idle and the weak. The money will all be gone by June, and then the banks will be forced to pay back the money they owe the government. Jesus. Can you imagine?


May 04, 2015

I’m so distraught I can’t even bear to listen to Radiohead

I’d love nothing more than to review an album for you right now, tell you about how some band or solo artist is going to make it big, or be doomed to a perpetual cycle of reality TV show auditions.

But I can’t do that. I’m so distraught I can’t even bear to listen to Radiohead.


July 22, 2014
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